Problem
If the cost of a 4-minute telephone call is $0.24, then the cost of a 15-minute call at the same rate is:
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Shannon Brownlee
Tell them something they don't already know
Dante got it wrong. There is another circle to hell, and it is coming up fast for thousands of high school seniors: writing the college essay. You've already earned the grades, joined the clubs, taken the SATs, and then taken them again. The only part of your application left in your control is the essay, which can make or break your chances of being admitted. Even if your grades and scores are perfect, says Jim Bock, dean of admissions and financial aid at Swarthmore College in Pennsylvania, "A bad essay can keep you out; a fabulous essay can get you in."
How to write that fabulous essay is, of course, what everybody hopes to learn from articles like this one. And most start with the premise that essay writing is easy--if you just know how. Well, it's not. Writing about oneself with the perfect balance of humility and pride is always difficult, but it can be done, especially if you start early, are willing to rewrite, and follow a few rules--some of which are even simple.
Let's start with the easiest: Always answer the question. If it's "Why do you want to go to Lycoming College?" don't talk about your lifelong ambition to be a dancer; talk about what's compelling about Lycoming. If a college asks, "If you could be a tree, what kind of tree would you be?" try to get into the spirit of things and answer in a straightforward way. Don't be snotty, no matter how inane the question might seem to be.
For many seniors, the hardest part of writing an essay is picking a topic, especially when the question is a variation on the dreaded "Tell us something about yourself." If you have no idea where to begin, try taking the advice of Michael Thompson, associate vice chancellor of outreach admissions at the University of California-Santa Cruz: Tell your readers something they don't already know. "When a student writes to us that they work 30 hours a week and the money they make goes into the family income," he says, "then the fact that they weren't president of the chess club makes sense."
Ban on boyfriends.
Having recounted this example, Thompson warns that essays about surmounting adversity can be hard to pull off. The last thing you want to do is sound whiny. Strive to focus on the positive lesson you learned from your travails--and do not under any circumstances write about breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. A broken heart is one of the few topics admissions officers agree are off limits. Save that stuff for your diary.
If you still have no idea where to begin, canvass the people who know you best--your friends and family. Give them a couple of days to come up with your three most compelling qualities. Or ask them to help you recall a formative experience. Remember, this is your chance to tell the admissions officers something about you--what you believe, who you really are.
Once you have chosen a subject, use the KISS principle of writing: Keep it super simple. Take a single idea or event, and describe it in loving detail. The biggest mistake college essayists make, says Debra Chermonte, dean of admissions and financial aid at Oberlin College in Ohio, is writing an overview of their lives. Instead, she suggests, "narrow the focus to something tangible."
As you begin outlining your essay, keep in mind another rule writers follow: Show, don't tell. Telling is making a statement like "I am a very passionate person." Oh, really? Says who? Show your reader how passionately you feel about, say, scuba diving, with evocative details, like how thrilling it is to smell the salt air as the dive boat races toward the reef, and how you're filled with anticipation and more than a little fear. Write how your anxiety dissipates as you sink toward the seafloor, with only the crackle of snapping shrimp and the hiss of your own breathing for company. These kinds of details let your readers figure out for themselves who you are and what you care about.
Caring passionately, it turns out, is one of the personal qualities schools want most in applicants. Admissions officers don't expect every student to be a Renaissance boy or girl--captain of the soccer team, cheerleader, president of the student body, and a member of the French, history, and glee clubs. They want students who are excited about life and scholarship, and who can express themselves in writing.
Two last pieces of advice: First, proofread, proofread, proofread. You won't boost your chances of getting into St. Anselm College by writing, "Please admit me to Stonehill." Try the trick used by professional proofreaders, reading your essay out loud sentence by sentence. Second, omit needless words. This essay was pruned from 1,200 words to just under 900 words. If the professionals can cut their precious prose, so can you.
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